I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
