I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
