My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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