I'm drive I can fine osifer
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
