paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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