Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
