I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
