Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
