my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
