Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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