If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My penis needs a shock collar
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
