It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
