We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize