He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
