i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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