its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
