There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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