your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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