My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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