This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
