is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
