Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
