You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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