I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
