I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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