I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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