omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
