Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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