I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Everything about him screamed your future.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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