Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
