he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize