I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
worst night to have a conscience
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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