Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
