and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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