She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize
