just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
