Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
