he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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