; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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