The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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