I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
