Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I still have a little drunk in my system
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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