I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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