He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
