Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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