come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
