If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
