I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize