the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize
