Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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