She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
