Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
