I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
did you just send me my own nude
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
