I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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