best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
