I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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