Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
