i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
