Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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